Confessions of A Gamer Dad – Hater

I’ve long been familiar with the concept of a “Gamer Dad” and frankly, I hate it. There’s no beating around the bush here guys, at some point in your gaming dad life you need to make some pro-financial savvy stock market moves, acquire a map and somehow navigate wherever the hell your balls went.

How I Want It

I get it, you want to be hands on as much as possible when it comes to the acquisition of a new human being in your life while garnering an equal balance of relationship-esque duties. A baby cries. That is just a fact that we as a society have to somehow find a way to cope with. But should this alter the outlook of our life and cut into our far more important gaming life?

How It Is

As it stands my project momentum has slowed down to a crawl, not because of so called babies, but I simply don’t care about gaming anymore. And a crawl is a seriously generous metaphor. However in regards to newborns, listen just as in the previously referenced fact that babies cry, babies also sleep. Yeah, maybe they don’t sleep in large chunks, but that’s just when I think the *Darwinian Sleep Cycle Realignment technique should be introduced. I think we know where this is going….

Being One of You

I used still give my Gamer Dad friends a hard time. I would still say “Bro, you need to get your ballz back from your lady.” Listen, if we want to use the all too common and super sound logic bi-conditional statement: If a man is involved in 5% of the human creation involvement scale then it should stand to reason that a man should only be involved in 5% of the child’s life. Now this is simple biology people, and we can’t argue with biology. Especially simple biology for that matter.

An Apology Redacted

Never gave one in the first place. Though it should seem that a thank-you is owed. Please send “Thank you” checks to my agent.

Worth the Trouble

Yeah a kid invokes some sort of malarkey high-praised intrinsic unconditional love, but for godsakes be a man. Stuff all that shit down inside yourself and let it all explode in various nights of drunken tirades. This isn’t Dr. Phil here guys. To retain your hobbyism you must make the choice. You must actively tell yourself that; “A child is going to be there when you start gaming and they sure as hell better be there once you get done.” What’s the worst thing there going to do about? Cry?

Want to see what Jay thinks about this? Can’t imagine why, but…Jay’s Say.

*the Darwinian Sleep Cycle Realignment Technique is not a recognized Psychology technique.